Resting in chaos

A noisy early afternoon, into and then out of a mess

It was just another ordinary Wednesday, one day in a long row of similar days. Yet, it made my nervous system go on a blink. I was unable to stick to the plans made of something brittle, such as a house of cards built up of round coasters, the rims of which had been abused for tally sheets of disappointment, only able to stand on its ragged edges, and which could collapse every minute anyway.

So, I took a few coins and went away from the noise around me — what else could I do? Unfortunately, the streets I had to walk to find a room where I could stay and have lunch on my own stressed me even more.

Some façades were being renovated nearby, maybe stones were being ground, sort of — oh, how I hated that screech! As if my brain contained bones or teeth someone had to drill in, only more externalized… The wind itself was too loud and, even worse, it made things slip away under my feet — only the dry leaves, of course, but that was a lot of torture for my abraded senses.

© own work

For a moment, I could not see any way out of this stupid hell …

But then I learned: It was not the end of the world, absolutely, quite app-solutely not.
I just had to … step over myself a bit and ask for a little help from a digital friend…

The eye of the storm

The eye of the storm
Kept closing in
Kept eating me up
From within

The eye of the storm
Let noise rush through
Let my feet feel heavy
Stick like old glue

I sat down in the wind
Wishing it could carry me away
Wishing it would fade
But I had to stay

The wind was too loud
People saw my defeat
People stepped over me
No hands to meet

Tons of weight in the cloud
Of my anxious mind
Of an invisible bruise
I rang doorbells I’d find

Stubborn steps reassuring
That I could still walk
That I’d find a way
A way out of the dark

Same misery back
All the noise still there in it
All the torture of hurrying
It came back in a minute

I tried to ignore all the shouts
Yet they pulled me down
Yet they pulled me in
I obeyed with a frown

Silence came finally
Patient text on my phone
Patient minutes I borrowed
As if I was alone

Fear loosened its grip
I felt safe like a cat
as if caressed from a distance
Noise didn’t reach where I sat

I sat like on an island
In an ongoing stream
In my hand just a phone
It was like in a dream…

Woman looking at phone on the sofa (AI)

Photo by Edan Cohen on Unsplash